The Dreaded Bachelor Party

As a young woman with no prospects, it may be a bit alarming that I'm already thinking about marriage. Yes, it's true, I do want the steady companionship of a God-given man, the beautiful wedding, and the finality I feel my life will have once I've reached that stage, but lately what's been bugging me is the idea of the bachelor party and the tradition it entails.

Let's face it; what I'm sure most of us think of when it comes to bachelor parties is strippers. The strippers are hired to entertain our fiancés on their last night as single men, and it makes me sick just thinking about it. What comes to mind is some well endowed Victoria's Secret angel with tight abs and poufy, Angelina Jolie lips, and my next thought is that my husband is to see me the very next night...naught but a disappointment in comparison. This is one issue that I simply cannot compromise on. I wouldn't be able to stand the thought that every time my husband saw my body, he had something much better to compare it to.

Yes, I am already a jealous wife. I am jealous for my future husband, and that jealousy is rightly placed. Even if my body was more pleasing to my husband than the body of the stripper he saw, he would've committed sins against me. First of all, the very idea of enjoying someone taking off their clothes at their emotional expense is animalistic. And I will argue now that every stripper suffers some emotional tax no matter how long they've been pursuing their profession or how impervious to lustful stares they seem. Second, my husband would've committed adultery against me, because he is not "celebrating his last night as a single guy" the night before our wedding. As far as I'm concerned, he is still engaged to me and has been committed to me as long as we've been in a relationship. The night before our wedding is no different from any other night, and I expect my future husband to flee from sexual temptation just the same. Otherwise he might hear two very unpleasant words at our wedding the next day.

"I don't."